


How to Panic

by upsettyspaghetti



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Fluff, Gen, Panic Attacks, anxiety warning, could be shyan but not really, literally just fluff, ryan explains anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 00:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20017633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upsettyspaghetti/pseuds/upsettyspaghetti
Summary: After an incident involving Ryan’s anxiety, Shane asks him what it feels like and how to help him.





	How to Panic

**Author's Note:**

> Possible anxiety trigger warning?? idk.
> 
> I suffer from anxiety disorder and this is basically my way of coping (writing) and it’s just me explaining to those who don’t realize what it’s like

Shane watches as Ryan types furiously on his computer, keeping his eyes trained on the screen. Ryan’s eyebrows are furrowed, his concentration never wavering.

The tension that was once in the room had dissipated, leaving a warm, comforting atmosphere. They were sitting in Ryan’s living room, outside the windows was dark, but in here the soft glow of the lamp illuminated both of them.

The tension had come from when, just ten minutes ago, Ryan had a full blown panic attack about the newest season of Buzzfeed Unsolved, which made it very clear that Shane was wholly unprepared when it came to Ryan’s anxiety.

It’s not that Shane didn’t know what anxiety was. He had just rarely experienced it.

Shane was a very laid-back man, as he was told by literally everyone he had ever met. Sure he yelled at demons (wind) and ghosts (again, wind) but most of the time he was quiet, observing.

Ryan, on the other hand, was most definitely not. The only way Shane can think to describe him is a little ball of anxious energy, always vibrating, tapping something, talking to himself, etc. He talked constantly, even when he thought he was alone.

It’s not that Shane judges him for it, or makes fun of him (only sometimes) but it’s just that he doesn’t understand. Why get worked up about things that you can’t control? Why apologize 5 times per sentence when it’s not even that big of a deal?

When Ryan started panicking, he didn’t want to be touched. He put his head between his arms and rocked back and forth, crying. Sobbing, actually.

Shane had no clue what he could do. He would’ve offered a comforting hand on his shoulder but Ryan shoved him away, crying even harder. It was frustrating, but Shane knew it wasn’t really Ryan’s fault.

Finally, he breaks the silence.

“What’s it like?” He says, not so elegantly. Ryan stops typing and looks up, confused.

“What’s... What like?” He asks, watching Shane with curiosity.

Shane shifts in his seat, suddenly aware that he has no idea how to ask. No idea what to say next. “What’s it like... having anxiety?” He grimaces as he finishes the sentence. Nice going, Shane. Super well said.

Ryan seems taken aback by the question. He laces his fingers together and looks away from his friend, staring at the ceiling. “What do you mean, exactly?”

“I...” Shane starts, fidgeting slightly. Taking a deep breath, he decides to just go for it. “Every time you... you feel anxious... I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. All I do is sit back and watch while you fall apart and it’s scary, Ryan. I don’t know what to do. Tell me what it’s like so I know what to do.”

The tension somehow returns to the room, making it feel like Shane is suffocating. Ryan simply nods, and opens his mouth to say something. Instead, he sighs.

Realizing that Ryan maybe doesn’t want to talk about this, Shane mumbles a quick apology and pretends to be engrossed in his book. He can hear the clock ticking in the background, and the faint sound of rain pattering on the roof.

Ryan clears his throat. “It’s... It’s like there’s a ball of fear in my chest. A-And every time something happens, It starts rattling around, making my heart and lungs flutter...” He admits, quietly.

Shane puts down his book, relieved that a) Ryan is talking about it and b) it’s not awkward.

“It makes me feel like I wanna curl in on myself, like I have to protect the ball of fear otherwise it’ll burst out of my chest and everyone will know that I’m... I’m vulnerable.

“There’s nothing I can do to stop it, sometimes. It’s scary... and sometimes when I can’t stop it, I start to panic. And then... Well... Now you k-know how that turns out,” He laughs, sadly. 

It’s quiet for a moment, suffocating both of them.

“What can I do?” Shane whispers. He almost thinks Ryan doesn’t hear him, but then he hears him take a deep breath.

“Talk. Just... Talk. I don’t care what you talk about, I just need something to ground me, you know? Something to let me know that I’m still here. And you’re still here. Just let me know I’m not alone.... okay?”

The sentiment almost makes Shane start to cry. Ryan, despite all of his trust issues, fear, and anxiety, has entrusted Shane with this information. His heart flutters in his chest with this thought.

“Okay,” He promises. “I’ll talk to you.”

Ryan nods, playing with a ring on his finger. “Th-Thanks, Shane,” He whispers. “For caring enough to ask.”

“Of course. I’ll... I’ll always be here for you, okay little guy?”

He smiles. “Alright.”


End file.
